What are gender roles? How are gender and sex different? Summarize two theoretical approaches to the development of gender roles in children.
Being gender dysphoric is weird. I don't want to use the term transgender here simply because the fluctuations between transgenderism and androgyny make it hard to define myself as one or the other. If memory serves, my definitive "I don't want to be male" didn't occur until the seventh grade. Yes, the signs were present before that if one cared to look (interest in feminine clothing, feminine activities, an imaginary alter ego that was neither male nor female), but I didn't exactly understand what gender and sex were until I hit puberty, so make of that what you will. Even now though, there are aspects of masculinity which I desire to keep, to have alongside the feminine traits I have continued to pursue.
But enough about the indecision part of the equation; let's see if psychology can explain my childhood! If we look at things from a
nature perspective, femininity is associated with a better grasp of language and emotion, and more serotonin receptors in the brain. While I've never had an MRI done, language has always been my best subject, and I was more prone to emotional stimulus as a child, which hints at more pre-natal estrogen exposure. There's also the digit ratio theory, but that's more of an urban myth.
From the
nurture aspect comes the Social Learning Theory and the Gender Schema Theory. According to Social Learning Theory, I should have learned much about being masculine from my father and grandfather, who I spent a lot of time around growing up. That said, while I obtained my love of cars from my old man, I never picked up on his love for sports, fishing, hunting (I tried, okay?), or yardwork.
That just leaves the Gender Schema Theory, which insists that I should have picked up the differences between men and women simply by being around a lot of men and women. However, as I said in the opening paragraph, by the time I hit middle school I still hadn't figured that out. Most of the girls and guys in my neighborhood played together equally, doing the same kinds of activities. I could go on and on about all the things we did together and still not draw any semblance of a line between the two.
In summation, the two theories of early childhood gender development really do not apply to me at all. In all honesty, it could be that I never really developed a gender identity for myself, was forced to pick male, reacted poorly to being asked to choose, picked female because I thought it would be less terrible than the one picked for me, hated that one as well, and settled for both in the end because I realized that it didn't really matter in the scheme of things anyway.
Being gender dysphoric is weird.
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(Alright, so a little extra information: I was a little irritated with the textbook because their approach was to be as neutral on the subject as possible. They did
not want to approach the idea that men and women had any inherent differences for fear of disrespecting political correctness, which meant that they didn't necessarily give a lot of information on the theories they were presenting. That's strike one.
Strike two is this notion that I need to rationalize my decisions for presenting as anything whatsoever, or that anyone really has to for that matter. It took my family four years after I came out to accept my gender identity as valid, because they insisted that I wasn't feminine enough to justify my wanting to be female. At the end of the day, I don't even care what a person calls me; I just want to feel as comfortable in my own body as I can. To me, femininity is where I derive my confidence from. It clicks with me, it helps me orient myself as a person, and that should be enough.)