Most of you guys know what an opinion is, and most of you know that people will not always have the same opinion. As such, debates about hot-button issues occur with regularity, especially on the internet. However, there are some things you should not do while debating, and I'd like to discuss that.
This morning, an individual (I will not say who) posted a controversial video about an well-known person who was being threatened and harassed on a routine basis because of their job. As a result, they began to harass and be violent in retaliation. Of course, this only served to increase the harassment toward them, perpetrating the cycle ad-infinitum. Not only that, but it was incredibly unprofessional of them to do.
The individual stated that they supported this well-known person, while I stated that I disagreed wholeheartedly with the actions. They went on to ask if I agreed with the opposition's actions, and before I could respond, they proceeded to state that "by proxy," I supported the opposition and was thus associated with those "disgusting acts." They knew full well this wasn't the case, but that those watching from their side would see me as a disgusting person and a bully-supporter through basis of assumption. Through emotion, this individual had vastly elevated their own position without taking the time to so much as respond to anything I had argued thus far.
So of course, I call them out on it, tell them they aren't being fair. Rather than own up to it, they start making up excuses. "You're being overly emotional." "You tried to contradict me and I responded." "It's all opinion." All this individual is doing at this point is trying to affirm their flawed assumption to keep their position elevated. The icing on the cake? "This seemed like what you were doing, therefore let's agree to disagree."
"Agree to Disagree" is a term I personally despise. It's the "Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies" method of ending an argument. You silence yourself in order to silence the opposition, so that the positions of both people remain locked. This would mean that this individual would continue to look like a saint while I continued to look like a bully-sympathizer. So I refused.
And then the attacks started.
"You can't take contradictions." "You're not smart enough to know what 'by proxy' means." "This is the internet so you have no reason to care." Finally, I got to a point where I'd had enough and I simply told them I was done, but before I left for the morning, I told this person that if they ever attacked my character like that in the future, I would not be so nice. Up to this point, I had responded with no attacks, no swearing, nothing that would give this person further ammunition other than to point out all of the flaws they were trying to perpetuate for the sake of image.
When I returned, hours later, this individual stated, "If you don't like the way I tweet then you should unfollow me." However, when I went to look at their profile, I found out that they had preemptively blocked me, to ensure that I'd never be able to contradict them again.
The more I think about what happened, the more I realize that this person is a complete and total narcissist, but there is a point to all of this. You see, in a debate, the point is not to prove somebody wrong. It's to affirm that your stance is a valid one. As we've seen more than once in this very blog, there is more than one valid perspective to an issue, but you have to be able to demonstrate that validity. This individual was so obsessed with making me a villain that they couldn't see that.
Lastly, painting someone as a bully-sympathizer, knowing full well they've been bullied most of their personal and professional lives, is just plain stupid. I've been sexually harassed at my jobs, threatened at my jobs, and have had crimes committed against me at my jobs. Yet I never acted as immaturely as the person in the video. Professional decorum is important in any job; it doesn't matter if you're in the military, if you're a receptionist, if you're an athlete, or if you're shoveling fecal matter at the zoo. You are in a position where you should be responsible for your actions, even in the face of adversity. If you can't handle that, then quit.
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